To Put Someone On A Pedestal

Putting someone on a pedestal means to admire them excessively, often to the point of overlooking their flaws. This expression illustrates how we sometimes elevate individuals to an unrealistic status, setting them apart from ordinary people. But what does it truly mean to put someone on a pedestal, and what are the implications for both the admirer and the admired? In this article, we will delve deep into this phenomenon, examining its psychological roots, potential consequences, and how to maintain healthier perspectives in our relationships.

Introduction

The act of placing someone on a pedestal is a common human behavior, rooted in our desire for role models, leaders, or even romantic ideals. It involves attributing extraordinary qualities to an individual, often exaggerating their virtues and minimizing their shortcomings. While admiration is a natural and positive aspect of human interaction, the idealization inherent in putting someone on a pedestal can lead to skewed perceptions and unrealistic expectations.

The Psychology Behind Pedestalization

To understand why we put people on pedestals, we need to explore the psychological factors that drive this behavior. Several key mechanisms are at play:

• Idealization: This is a psychological process where we attribute overly positive qualities to another person. It stems from a need for security, perfection, or a desire to see the best in others. In romantic relationships, idealization is often strongest in the early stages, as people tend to focus on their partner's positive traits.
• Projection: We often project our own desires, hopes, and unfulfilled aspirations onto the person we admire. By seeing them as perfect or exceptionally talented, we vicariously experience a sense of fulfillment.
• Cognitive Biases: Several cognitive biases contribute to pedestalization. The halo effect causes us to assume that because someone is good at one thing, they are good at everything else. Confirmation bias leads us to selectively notice and emphasize information that confirms our positive view of the person, while ignoring or downplaying contradictory evidence.
• Emotional Needs: Placing someone on a pedestal can fulfill emotional needs such as the desire for guidance, validation, or inspiration. We may seek out individuals who embody qualities we lack, hoping to learn from them or even absorb some of their perceived greatness.
• Social and Cultural Influences: Society often promotes the idea of heroes, celebrities, and leaders who are portrayed as exceptional individuals. Media representations, biographies, and historical narratives can contribute to the creation of pedestals for certain figures.

Examples of Pedestalization in Different Contexts

Romantic Relationships

In romantic relationships, putting a partner on a pedestal can manifest as idealizing their appearance, intelligence, or character. This might involve overlooking flaws, making excuses for negative behaviors, or prioritizing their needs above one's own. While initial idealization is common and can strengthen the bond, maintaining this unrealistic view over time can lead to disappointment and resentment.

Mentorship and Leadership

We often place mentors, teachers, or leaders on pedestals, viewing them as infallible sources of wisdom and guidance. While respecting their expertise is essential, excessive idealization can hinder critical thinking and independent decision-making. It can also create an unhealthy power dynamic, where the admirer feels inferior and unable to challenge the admired person's ideas or actions.

Celebrity and Public Figures

Celebrities and public figures are often subject to pedestalization due to their fame, talent, or perceived success. Fans may develop an obsessive admiration, viewing these individuals as role models and projecting their own hopes and dreams onto them. However, this can lead to disappointment when celebrities inevitably make mistakes or fail to live up to their idealized image. The consequences of celebrity pedestalization are evident in the intense media scrutiny and public reaction when a celebrity's personal life or behavior clashes with their public persona.

Historical Figures

Historical figures are frequently elevated to iconic status, with their achievements celebrated and their flaws often overlooked or excused. This can result in a distorted understanding of history, where complex individuals are reduced to simple, heroic narratives. While it's important to recognize the contributions of historical figures, it's equally important to acknowledge their imperfections and biases.

The Consequences of Putting Someone on a Pedestal

While admiration can be a positive emotion, placing someone on a pedestal has several potential negative consequences for both the admirer and the admired.

For the Admirer

• Disappointment and disillusionment: Sooner or later, the admirer will likely encounter evidence that contradicts their idealized view. This can lead to disappointment, disillusionment, and even resentment towards the person they once admired.
• Loss of self-esteem: Constantly comparing oneself to an idealized figure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. The admirer may feel that they can never measure up to the perceived perfection of the person on the pedestal.
• Unrealistic expectations: Pedestalization can lead to unrealistic expectations in relationships. The admirer may expect their partner, mentor, or leader to always be perfect, wise, and supportive, which is an impossible standard to meet.
• Dependence and lack of autonomy: Over-reliance on the judgment and guidance of someone on a pedestal can hinder the admirer's ability to think critically and make independent decisions. This can lead to a loss of autonomy and a sense of dependence on the admired person.
• Enabling negative behavior: The admirer may be more likely to excuse or overlook negative behaviors from the person they admire, potentially enabling harmful actions.

For the Admired

• Pressure and stress: Being placed on a pedestal can create immense pressure to maintain a perfect image. The admired person may feel constantly scrutinized and fear making mistakes that could shatter the illusion of perfection.
• Isolation: It can be isolating to be seen as fundamentally different from others. The admired person may struggle to form genuine connections because people relate to the idealized image rather than the real person.
• Lack of genuine feedback: People may be hesitant to provide honest feedback to someone on a pedestal, fearing they will damage the relationship or shatter the illusion of perfection. This can hinder personal growth and self-awareness.
• Entitlement: Over time, being consistently admired and praised can lead to a sense of entitlement. The admired person may begin to believe that they are indeed superior to others and deserving of special treatment.
• Difficulty in forming authentic relationships: Being seen as perfect can make it challenging to form authentic, reciprocal relationships. People may be drawn to the image rather than the person, and the admired individual may struggle to find genuine connection and support.

How to Avoid Putting People on Pedestals

Recognizing the potential pitfalls of pedestalization is the first step towards developing healthier perspectives in our relationships. Here are some strategies to avoid putting people on pedestals:

• Practice realistic assessment: Acknowledge that everyone has flaws and imperfections. Avoid focusing solely on positive qualities and try to see the whole person, including their weaknesses and struggles.
• Challenge your own biases: Be aware of cognitive biases like the halo effect and confirmation bias. Actively seek out information that contradicts your idealized view and be willing to adjust your perspective accordingly.
• Set realistic expectations: Understand that no one can be perfect all the time. Set realistic expectations in your relationships and be willing to accept that people will make mistakes.
• Focus on your own strengths: Instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, focus on developing your own strengths and pursuing your own goals. Recognize your own value and potential.
• Seek diverse perspectives: Talk to other people who know the person you admire and gather different perspectives. This can help you gain a more balanced view of their strengths and weaknesses.
• Value authenticity and vulnerability: Appreciate people for who they truly are, flaws and all. Value authenticity and vulnerability in your relationships, and be willing to share your own imperfections.
• Maintain healthy boundaries: Avoid becoming overly dependent on the person you admire. Maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships and prioritize your own needs and well-being.
• Recognize shared humanity: Remember that everyone is human and prone to mistakes. Avoid dehumanizing others by placing them on a pedestal and instead recognize our shared humanity.
• Be critical of media portrayals: Be aware of how media representations can contribute to the creation of pedestals. Critically evaluate information presented in the media and avoid blindly accepting idealized images.
• Celebrate progress, not perfection: Focus on celebrating progress and growth, both in yourself and in others. Avoid fixating on perfection and instead appreciate the journey of learning and development.

Cultivating Healthy Admiration

Admiration is a natural and valuable emotion that can inspire us to learn, grow, and strive for excellence. The key is to cultivate healthy admiration that is grounded in reality and promotes mutual respect and understanding. Here are some tips for cultivating healthy admiration:

• Focus on specific qualities: Instead of idealizing the whole person, focus on specific qualities or achievements that you admire. This allows you to appreciate their strengths without overlooking their flaws.
• Acknowledge effort and hard work: Recognize the effort and hard work that went into achieving those qualities or accomplishments. This helps you appreciate the process rather than just the outcome.
• Use admiration as inspiration: Use your admiration as inspiration to develop those qualities in yourself. Instead of feeling inferior, see the admired person as a role model and strive to emulate their positive traits.
• Offer genuine appreciation: Express your appreciation for the person's qualities or accomplishments in a genuine and authentic way. Avoid excessive flattery or insincere praise.
• Maintain a balanced perspective: Remember that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Maintain a balanced perspective and avoid focusing solely on the positive aspects.
• Value mutual respect: Treat the person you admire with respect and recognize their value as an individual. Avoid placing them on a pedestal and instead treat them as an equal.
• Be willing to offer constructive feedback: If appropriate, be willing to offer constructive feedback in a respectful and supportive manner. This can help the person grow and improve.
• Celebrate their successes, but also acknowledge their struggles: Acknowledge that everyone faces challenges and struggles. Celebrate their successes, but also offer support and understanding during difficult times.

Conclusion

Putting someone on a pedestal is a complex phenomenon rooted in psychological needs and social influences. While admiration is a natural and positive emotion, excessive idealization can lead to disappointment, unrealistic expectations, and unhealthy relationships. By understanding the psychology behind pedestalization and implementing strategies to avoid it, we can cultivate healthier perspectives in our relationships and appreciate others for who they truly are, flaws and all. Cultivating healthy admiration involves focusing on specific qualities, acknowledging effort, using admiration as inspiration, and maintaining a balanced perspective. Ultimately, recognizing our shared humanity and valuing authenticity are key to building strong, meaningful connections with others.